4/03/2021

My 50(?) Favorite Western Movies

My “credentials as a critic of western movies is pretty shallow, but confident. I have really firm convictions about what makes a great western story, novel, movie, or series. I did grow up in Dodge City, Kansas and like a lot of boys from my generation I played with toy guns and pretended to be a badass gunfighter for hours every weekend and all summer. My father’s older brother owned a real ranch with a few thousand head of cattle and dozens of working quarter horses. His sons were real cowboys and one imagines he still is, although he’s 80-some-years-old and probably hasn’t sat on a horse for at least 20 years. I was fortunate enough to spend a lot of my early years on my uncle’s ranch, riding horses, digging fence line postholes (I still like to dig postholes), hunting squirrels and rabbits, fishing Bluff Creek, and exploring the unused or barely used parts of his ranch property. Eastern Kansas has some decent western history, too, which added to my database of actual western history.

When I was a kid, 12-14, I worked a couple of summers at the Dodge City Boot Hill Museum. My jobs there were everything from concession stand operator to janitor to reenactment actor to non-alcoholic beverage bartender. At least one  summer, I did all four jobs consecutively. My three favorite activities while “working” at the museum were 1) dueling with the fast draw automated gunfighter, 2) pawing through the actual gunfighter gun collection and western memorabilia stored in the Front Street museum basement, and reading the stacks of Dodge City newspapers from the 1800’s stored in the basement and on racks in the Boot Hill Museum. I came away from those experiences with a completely different picture of life in the “West” (of which the Midwestern Kansas barely qualifies). That picture informs, defines, and biases my opinion of western stories.

I have read a LOT of western novels, biographies, and history. For years, my oldest daughter, Holly, has bought me reference books for birthdays, Xmas, and general inspiration. I even have a couple of western-based novels in stasis, since my writing appears to have stalled out in old age. I have a super-fast way to determine if a western is going to be tolerable. I use this for writers I have not previously read. I skip to the last pages of the novel and look for shit like “she melted into his arms” or other romantic bullshit. If that crap is there, I toss the book back on the shelf. I am not a Louie L’Amour predictable W-shaped plot line fan. I don’t read “romances for men,” which is what that genre of novel amounts to. I don’t do John Wayne (except for one) or Ronny Reagan crap, either. Those two poofs needed a crew to hoist them on to their horses and, then, they needed a quart of Gorilla Glue on the saddle to stay there.

The order in which these movies and television mini-series appear in my list is not really sorted by “the best” motivation. For sure, whatever movie ended up at #1 is NOT my all-time favorite western. I don’t really have such an animal in my collection. To be sure, the stuff near the top of the list is more favored than the stuff at the bottom, but I like all of these movies a lot. If I didn’t like them, they wouldn’t be on the list at all.

My List of Best Westerns (not the motels)

1.      Hombre

One of Paul Newman’s “H movies,” 1967’s Hombre is based on an Elmore Leonard novelette of the same name, which is a great origin story for any movie. I like or love almost every Elmore Leonard story ever turned into a movie. There was one fatal (in my opinion) character flaw in the novelette and the movie version “fixed” that. Newman and Richard Boone play together well and this early anti-hero story is gritty, realistic, and as western as the west ever was. Any best western list that doesn’t include Hombre is bullshit.

Hombre sits at the top of my list because it was the movie that convinced me westerns didn’t have to be crap romances for city boys and losers. It was also one of the few movies made from a book that improved on the book without losing a step. Irving Ravetch and Harriet Frank Jr’s screen play of an Elmore Leonard novelette changed the one weak character in Leonard’s story to be a more credible, stronger female lead played by Diane Cilento. The original “Jesse” was a teenager who mostly whined throughout Leonard’s story.

2.      Justified

Justified is my all-time favorite television series . . . EVER. This is another Elmore Leonard-based story (“Fire in the Hole” is one of Leonard’s Marshall Givens stories) and Mr. Leonard was a co-producer of the series until he died just before the start of the final season. Timothy Oliphant flew to the head of my “favorite actor” category for his portrayal of Marshall Raylan Givens. Givens’ cowboy hat, his fascination with old west lawmen, his attitude, and his gunfighter skills are what make this a “western” for me. It is a modern story, but everything about it screams those libertarian, every-man-for-himself, lawless days of the Old West.

There are hundreds of moments in this 6 season series (2010-2015) that sucked me in, but in the first season there is a scene where Givens confronts a pair of mobsters on an isolated highway and tells them, “That’s close enough. If you take another step, I’ll have to put you down.” The alpha mobster takes another step and Givens puts a bullet in his gut. I have spent most of my life screaming at movies where the idiot with a gun keeps saying “don’t take another step or I’ll shoot” until the moron gets beat down after the other guy has practically done his daily 10,000 steps in the process. Justified never does that kind of dumb shit.

3.      Hostiles

I had, literally, no expectations for this 2017 Scott Cooper production, since it wasn’t advertised and just showed up at my local theater with minimal fanfare. We went with a couple of friends who were totally unfamiliar with western and, to the movie’s credit, they were lost through large sections of the movie. Christian Bale heads the cast, but the rest of the cast—Rosamund Pike, Wes Studi, Ben Foster, Stephen Lang, Jesse Plemons, Rory Cochrane, Adam Beach, Q'orianka Kilcher, and Jonathan Majors—were brilliantly selected for their parts and the screenplay is a masterpiece.

You cannot daydream for a moment or Hostiles will leave you wondering “what just happened?” Cooper does not lead you by the hand with either his dialog or the action. Blink or daydream for a moment and you’ll wake up confused. This is an actual adult’s movie.

4.      True Grit

The 2010 Cohen Brothers’ True Grit, not the ridiculous 1969 John Wayne mess. As anyone who has followed the Cohen Brothers’ careers might expect, their version of the 1968 Charles Portis novel doesn’t mess around with pretending that screenwriters are more competent than novelists. They made a movie out of the book and picked all of the right people for the parts. There are no nods to popularity in this cast, every part is played by someone who is perfect for the job.

5.      Appaloosa

Practically no one’s list of best westerns contains Appaloosa and that might be one of the reasons I decided to create my own. Ed Harris and Vigo Mortenson bring Robert Parker’s novel to life as well as any transition from book to movie has ever been done. Randall Bragg (Jeremy Irons) is one of Hollywood’s best ever evil bastards and of all the irritating people Renée Zellweger has portrayed, Allison French, is high on my list. Lots of realism, lots of action, and I wish they’d have done well enough that Harris and Mortenson had kept making Parker’s stories into movies.

6.      Lonesome Dove

I know, Lonesome Dove is not a movie, it’s a mini-series. Larry McMurtry never wrote a sentence that I didn’t love and every paragraph in his 843 page novel was a masterpiece. This 1989 TNT series about ex-Texas Rangers (Robert Duvall, Tommy Lee Jones) driving cattle into the Montana Territory through rustlers, hostile Indians, lousy weather, and bad luck is an indispensable part of any western movie film collection. I had no idea that Tommy Lee Jones was a versatile actor until Lonesome Dove.

7.      Hell on Wheels

Another series, but one of the best ever. There are too many wonderful, believable characters in this 5 season, 57 episode drama to describe in less than several thousand words, but Anson Mount’s Cullen Bohannon should have earned him a long and successful career as a leading man. The first season was supposed to be the only season and it is incredibly powerful. The producer’s decision to have each season be the “property” of a different director kept the series from devolving into the usual plotless crap that plagues most television series.

8.      Hidalgo

Vigo Mortensen is a down-on-his-luck American cowboy who takes a flyer on an Arabian cross country horse race to change his luck. The west meets a spectacularly corrupt monarchy in the desert. Everything about this 2004 movie is terrific and lots of it is even unpredictable, not the usual situation for westerns. Mortensen is perfect, but what else would you expect?

9.      The Proposition

Nick Cave first wrote the soundtrack, then was handed the screenplay for this Australian-based western which he supposedly wrote in three weeks. He knocked it out of the park on all counts. There are moments in this movie where you can’t separate the action from the soundtrack, they blend so perfectly.

Guy Pierce out-Eastwoods Clint Eastwood at this best as the main character, Charles Burns, the brother of notorious outlaw Arthur Burns (Danny Huston), the man every lawman in Australia wants to take down. The cinematography is non-stop incredible because somehow this film manages to remove all signs of the 20th Century. I would have bet that The Proposition, released in 2005, would have made Guy Pierce a superstar. I still don’t know what happened.

10. All the Pretty Horses

Cormac McCarthy’s 1992 book turned into an equally brutal 2000 movie. Billy Bob Thornton directed it and Matt Damon knocked the lead out of the park.

11. The Sisters Brothers

The Sisters Brothers is a terrific novel and the movie tracked the novel pretty well, with the usual shortening or elimination of backstories and sidelines to fit into the 2 hour time line.

12. Unforgiven

Eastwood’s 1992  Unforgiven is, rightfully on everyone’s “best western” list. It is so good that it almost makes up for that godawful pile of spaghetti western crap he made in the 70’s and the worse-than-crap Rawhide 60’s television series.

13. The Homesman

This is one weird part for Tommy Lee Jones and it is a hard look at the brutal lives of women on the western frontier in the 1850s. Another gritty piece of realism that takes all of the romance out of those western myths.

14. The Ballad of Lefty Brown

Bill Pullman is just amazing as the sidekick of a western hero, played momentarily by Peter Fonda, who was gunned down mysteriously leaving Brown with the guilt and blame. Lefty’s shift from sidekick to hero takes the whole film to develop and it’s worth every moment.

15. Monte Walsh

With Lee Marvin and Jack Palance, this was one of the best westerns I’d seen (or imagined) in 1970.  Yeah, Lee and Jack were a little old to be cowboys, but casting wasn’t exactly an art in the first 50 years of moving making. If you doubt my opinion, check out the hefty cavalry troopers in the same movie. Monty Walsh was a great novel, by Jack Schaefer and, I think the first version of Monty Walsh was the best. I didn’t hate the Tom Selleck remake, I just didn’t think it was worth doing.

16. McCabe & Mrs. Miller

I have no idea why reviewers often call Robert Altman’s 1971 movie “western revisionist,” it was a masterpiece in a genre that mostly produced white mythology pap and racist bullshit before the anti-hero period of the late-60s and early 70s. Altman’s mining town is a gritty, amoral, and corrupt as most of the libertarian late-1800s actually was and if that look at reality is “revisionist” that word needs redefining.

17. Ulzana’s Raid

Burt Lancaster is terrific in this Robert Aldrich movie as is the rest of the cast. There is a lot of gritty realism here, especially considering its 1972 production date. It is definitely not a western romance.

This is absolutely a classic western with almost none of the traditional qualities of westerns. Robert Altman’s 1971 anti-hero story that starred Warren Beatty and Julie Christie is one of the grittiest, least romantic westerns ever created.

18. The Assassination of Jesse James

19. The Shootist

I am not a John Wayne fan, but for his last western and last movie this was a good exit. Glendon Swarthout's 1975 novel was the basis for The Shootist and his son, Miles Hood Swarthout, and Scott Hale didn’t screw it up. Unlike every other western Wayne was in, The Shootist holds up well after 50 years. For one, Wayne’s character is dying of prostate cancer and rides as if his butt hurts, which is how Wayne always looked on a horse.

20. 3:10 to Yuma

Another Elmore Leonard novel turned into a movie. As a lifelong Leonard fan, the closer the movie is to the book the more I’ll like it. Therefore, my favorite movie version is no contest, the 2007 version is hands-down the better of the two. Glenn Ford was very good in the 1957 attempt, but his character was rewritten too much to even resemble Leonard’s Dan Evans. Christian Bale nailed it as did the James Mangold direction and Halsted Wells screenplay. In his prime, Russell Crowe was an amazing western American bad guy.

21. The Revenant

22. The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada

23. Bone Tomahawk

24. Dances with Wolves

25. Open Range

Believe or not, I am sort of a Costner fan, just not so much as an actor than as a person. Costner was pretty good in 2003’s Open Range and stoically offsetting Robert Duval’s outgoing character Costner seemed less wooden and more self-contained. Open Range is a fun, fairly traditional wester.

26. Blackthorn

Sam Shepard is an old Butch Cassidy living in Bolivia in 1908 as James Blackthorn. How could that premise go wrong? It didn’t. This is one convoluted, freaky plotline and worth every second of the screenplay. Sam Shepard is my John Wayne.

27. Blazing Saddles

Just in case you are silly enough to take my opinions more or less seriously than any other “fan” of anything, Blazing Saddles is solidly on my list. Clevon Little is one of my all-time favorite actors and he totally carried this movie on his comedic shoulders. Without Clevon Little, we might barely know who Mel Brooks was.

28. The Hateful Eight

This story is somewhere between a gritty and realistic western shoot-out film and a typical Tarantino bloodbath. It is packed full of terrific actors and slightly better than B-movie performances and dialog. I should like it more than I do and I’m not sure why it falls this low on my list, but I don’t see anything up there that I would move it above.

29. The Good Lord Bird

30. The Streets of Laredo

Another mini-series, but with James Garner, Sissy Spacek, Sam Shepard, and Ned Beatty in the cast and direction by Joseph Sargent it might as well be considered to be a major film. I am not a fan of James Garner, but he knocked this part out of the park. Since he was playing an older version of Tommy Lee Jones’ Woodrow Call, he had to do some serious work to be credible. He did just that.

31. Deadwood: The Movie

Deadwood: The Movie and the series should be higher on my list. I like a lot of the actors, the writing isn’t bad, the costumes and sets are excellent, and . . . I loved Pete Dexter’s book, Deadwood, which David Milch almost ripped page-by-page from in the first season. I can’t get past that when I watch any episode of Deadwood. In the west, Dexter would rightfully gun down Milch in the first scene of a decent western.

As for the series and the movie, the dialog was forced, overwrought, and rarely clever. The goober who did the sound editing clearly never heard of EQ or clarity. Great scenery and Tim Oliphant was terrific even when he wasn’t given much to work with. Visually, Deadwood is pretty good, but that’s it.

32. Comanche Moon

33. Jonah Hex

34. Cowboys and Aliens

I  know, I should get a ton of crap for putting this movie in a western category, but I liked it a lot and I even liked it after seeing it a 2nd time. We inherited the Cowboys and Aliens DVD with some stuff my wife’s father left her and we watched it a couple of times in our camper when we were stuck in New Mexico for a winter. Daniel Craig makes a better 1860s American character that most of the Americans who’ve taken on that kind of part.

35. The Culpepper Cattle Company

36. Little Big Man

37. The Covered Wagon

This 1923 western pretty much has ever stereotype Hollywood ever invented for westerns. Like most silent movies, the “acting” is often pretty terrible, but not all of it. The staging of this film is amazing. The scenes of covered wagons and stock crossing and attempting to cross the Platte River are hyper-realistic in the fact that it is total chaos.

38. Wyatt Earp

Kevin Costner’s 1994 Wyatt Earp is, in my opinion, a slightly more interesting interpretation than the Tombstone, if for no other reason than Dennis Quaid’s Doc Holiday portrayal. Both stories are pretty good, if not particularly historically accurate, but I liked this story pretty well. The look, sound, casting, and screenplay are gritty and believable. Of course, Costner’s Earp is as dead eyed and wooden as Costner is more often than not.

39. The Gunfighter

This is the 1950 Gregory Peck Gunfighter.  [Not to be confused with the incredibly awful 1999 Christopher Coppola/Francis Ford Coppola directed/produced train wreck that, under no conditions should be considered anything but a terrible -movie.] The Gunfighter isn’t bad, although it is a romance of sorts.

40. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

41. Django Unchained

Pure western fantasy with a little 2000’s porn, but it is funny and entertaining.

42. Cold Mountain

43. Dead Man’s Walk

44. Tombstone

45. Dead Man

46. The Missing

47. The Outlaw Josey Wales

48. The Kid

49. Bad Company

50. How the West Was Won

51. Ride with the Devil

52. The Treasure of the Sierra Madre

53. Ned Kelly

54. Cimarron

55. The Valley of Violence

56. Brimstone

57. Slow West

58. The Young Guns

59. Ride with the Devil

60. Geronimo: An American Legend

61. The Alamo

62.  

No comments: