Watching the recent speeches, I realized something amazing about the Republican candidate: John McSame is Eric Cartman, sort of grown up. Listen to his ranting, his strange nasal grunt used to punctuate his "important" moments. If we could just get him to sing "In the Ghetto," I think it would be obvious that John McCain and South Park's Eric Cartman are the same guy.
I wish I had written this brilliant analysis, but I didn't. However, it is so perfect that I wanted to do my bit to distribute it further. The comparisons between the two sets of Presidential and Vice-Presidential candidates are clear and obvious. One set is completely unsuited and unprepared for any office more critical than small town American (preferably small town Alaska or Arizona where nothing of importance ever happens and nothing of value is created). The other set is prepared, educated, intelligent, and capable. If you are still inclined to vote for the unprepared pair, racism is clearly your motivation. In fact, you are simply casting your vote for two pink boobs.
In the 2008 Presidential Election, what if the candidates resumes were reversed?
- What if the Obamas had paraded five children across the stage, including a three month old infant and an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter?
- What if John McCain was a former president of the Harvard Law Review?
- What if Barack Obama finished 894 out of 899 graduates from the Navy Academy in 1958?
- What if Barack Obama had been a prisoner in Vietnam for five years and suffered from Delayed Stress Syndrome?
- What if McCain had only married once, and Obama was a divorcee?
- What if Obama was the candidate who left his first wife after a severe disfiguring car accident, when she no longer measured up to his standards?
- What if Obama had met his second wife in a bar and had a long affair while he was still married?
- What if Barack Obama had failed at an attempted suicide?
- What if Michelle Obama was the wife who not only became addicted to pain killers but also acquired them illegally through her charitable organization?
- What if Cindy McCain graduated from Harvard?
- What if Obama had punched a woman in the face in the halls of Congress?
- What if Obama had been a member of the Keating Five? (The Keating Five were five United States Senators accused of corruption in 1989, igniting a major political scandal as part of the larger Savings and Loan crisis of the late 1980s and early 1990s.)
- What if McCain was a charismatic, eloquent speaker?
- What if Obama couldn't read from a teleprompter?
- What if Obama was the one who had military experience that included discipline problems and a record of crashing seven planes?
- What if Obama was the one who was known to display publicly, on many occasions, a serious anger management problem? Or if he used high levels of profanity in his private and public conversations.
- What if Michelle Obama's family had made their money from beer distribution?
- What if the Obamas had adopted a white child?
- You could easily add to this list. If these questions reflected reality, do you really believe the election numbers would be as close as they are?
Educational Background:
Barack Obama:
- Columbia University - B.A. Political Science with a Specialization in International Relations.
- Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude, Editor and President of Harvard Law Review
- Taught constitutional law at the University of Chicago Law School for twelve years.
Michelle Obama:
- Princeton University - BA in Sociology, Cum Laude
- Harvard Law School, Juris Doctor (J.D.)
Joseph Biden:
- University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in Political Science.
- Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)
vs.
John McCain:
- United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899
Cindy McCain:
- BA in Education - University of Southern California
- MA in Special Education - University of Southern California
Sarah Palin:
- Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
- North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
- University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
- Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
- University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism
Todd Palin:
- High School Graduate
Some try to sweep the issue under the rug but this is about racism. It covers up, rationalizes and minimizes positive qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative qualities in another when there is a color difference.
Education isn't everything, but this is about the two highest offices in the land, the second highest office and the spouses who wield influence over them, as well as our standing in the world. You make the call.
1Sheldon Aubut http://www.sheldonaubut.com
November 2008
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