Over the last 50 years there has been a lot of bullshit tossed around about what makes for a happy/satisfied/productive/purposeful life. I don’t think any previous generation worried about that kind of crap as much as have the Boomer-and-beyond generations. In fact, I’d be willing to bet that all of the generations that came before the 1960s combined didn’t have as many people worried about bullshit like passion, purpose, or even happiness as have the kiddies born after that date. The XYZ crowd have taken that to an extreme that might be a point of no return for the west. Because, let’s face it, you are born, you live, you get old, and you die. That is life.
One observation I have made regarding much of this is that more people than not do not find either happiness or purpose following the traditional “wisdom.” Most “traditional values” are about maintaining the status quo, furthering the growth of the species, and providing the 1% with a controlling grip on the 99%. No part of that leads to happiness or purpose for the 99% or most of the 1%. Lately, even some of the usually upbeat, pro-growth propaganda media is questioning "traditional wisdom."
One of the modern experiments humans are running (without many of them knowing they are doing anything other than living their lives) has been really interesting and is, purposely, ignored as much as possible has been going childless. Parenting has been hyped as being almost crucial to having a happy life.
This chart is one of the most repeated and verifiable evidence of how that works out and one of the most ignored. Couple satisfaction and general happiness is consistently highest before having children and heads north in the general direction of a better life as the brats leave home; assuming the relationship survives the kids and the stress they provide. If humans were a rational animal, capable of absorbing and analyzing the information provided by other humans’ experiences, this would be overwhelming evidence that living your life to keep propagating the species is a dumb idea. Of course, humans are an emotional, fear-driven, instinctual lizard-brain animal first and foremost and the majority of our species uses logic and critical thinking on the rarest of events. So, we keep letting nature and instinct drive us into corrals of reproduction, captivity, and restricted options.
In the US, by age 50, about 15% of all women are childless. That is one very large portion of humans who are instinctually (the opposite of intellectually) driven to act against their own interests. Knowing that, it should not be surprising to know that the majority of white women voted for Donald Trump in both 2016 and 2020. These women are the least intellectual, most instinctive, least educated, and most opportunity-constrained people in the country. They are not just doing what their husbands tell them to do, they are doing what 100,000 years of breeding has programmed them to do, especially rural white women who are consistently women who are only capable (due to education and/or intellect) of doing “woman’s work,” which is why they are rural instead of leaving the constraints of stagnant rural culture and economics for urban opportunities.
The brutal truth about children is that all babies are cute and loveable; yours, mine, everyone’s. Almost nobody’s teenagers are even tolerable. Between 10 and 18-75, “kids” are a pain in the ass, a massive economic drain, and the same kind of drain on your life and energy as having your house clobbered by a tornado or a major burglary or losing a spouse to cancer. Yeah, I said “cancer.” What you will consistently get from teenage children is heartbreak. All of those fine, elevated aspirations you once had for your beautiful baby and that bright, happy toddler will devolve into angst and apprehension tempered with “Please at least grow up enough to get the hell out of my house.”
And how do those childless 15% feel when they are my age? I have not taken a large poll, mostly because I don’t really care that much, but the half-dozen women I know who are childless by choice are a lot happier, more wealthy and carefree, better travelled, better educated, and more satisfied with their life’s trajectory. No, they are not in any way depressed seeing their counterparts’ children or grandchildren and the clutter, complication, and restriction those offspring produce. They are universally relieved when they escape those scenes of domestic chaos, in fact. At least one of those childless women over 50 told me that she occasionally visits her siblings just to be reminded of how miserable life with children really is.
And it really is.
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