8/24/2015

#123 Look out Canada! (2004)

All Rights Reserved © 2004 Thomas W. Day

Today, December 1st, 2004, G.W. Bush scared the crap out of Canada.  He did it under the mask of pretending to thank Canadians for their selfless concern and care of thousands of Americans who were re-routed to a safe country, Canada, after Georgie and CRAP managed to screw up American civil defense on September 11, 2001 and turn the nation's runways into random target delivery systems.  For the last 200 years, whenever US citizens need to run to a safe place, the closest place has always been Canada.  You'd think it's about time that someone from our insanely dangerous government would thank Canada for years of sanity and security.  Why did it have to be the scariest person on the planet?

Bush started well, you have to give his speech writers that.  "For days after Sept. 11, Canadians came to the aid of men and women and children who were worried and confused and had nowhere to sleep . . . You opened your homes and your churches to strangers, you brought food, you set up clinics, you arranged for calls to their loved ones, and you asked for nothing in return."  If he'd have quit there, Canadians might still be sleeping comfortably.

He went further, still without delivering veiled threats or ominous symbolism with what should have been a final note, "Thank you for your kindness to America in an hour of need."  But Bush isn't about making people feel good about themselves or safe in their homes.  Bush is one Charlie Chaplin mustache away from being the craziest and unpredictable person ever to head a nation.  Being a neighbor to a nutcase has never been a comforting situation. 

The words Bush ended his in-person thank you speech put the fear into intuitive and intellectual Canadians, "Beyond the words of politicians and the natural disagreements that nations will have, our two peoples are one family and always will be." 

Knowing how likely GeeWiz is to take a liking to whatever you have that he wants, Canadians have to be wondering exactly how Georgie sees this "one family."  He used similar words in describing his motivation for invading Iraq.  Canada has some oil.  Canada has lots of natural resources that the whacky-cons could chop up and sell to China and Japan.  Canada has a particularly functional democracy that makes our dysfunctional and corrupt non-representational system look terrible in comparison.  Canada has managed to protect its boarders and cities, which are a lot more complicated than ours from illegal immigration, terrorism, and unbalanced trade. 

There is nothing worse than having the ugliest house and lawn in the neighborhood and living next door to the perfect neighbor.  The simple solution is to toss a Molotov cocktail into the perfect neighbor's window and burn their perfect house to the ground.  I suspect some Canadians are staying awake nights watching for any light from the south.  "One if by land, two if by air?"  Or something like that.

Canada is the 21st Century's Austria, living next door to 1938 Germany and wondering how long their powerful, insane neighbor will tolerate a peaceful, democratic nation so close to the boarders of the exact opposite conditions.  The Bushies, on the other hand, must be worried that a free nation directly across an unprotected boarder might attract citizens not wanting to be the "last Jews across the boarder." 

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